Where Have All the Children Gone?

I don't have any answers. I don't have any solutions. I am only so confused. I can't begin to understand the gun violence in our country. And the disunity involved in trying to reduce the incidence of violent massacres.

I do know that the Sandy Hook massacre rocked my heart to it's core. On December 14, 2012 20 first grade students and 6 adults were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary school in Newtown, CT. I was reminded of the long lasting grief and trauma of this community when one of the father's took his own life this week.

We lived only 15 minutes from this sleepy little New England town for 5 years. It was idyllic. As I see the drama unfolding on the news reports , I see the yellow police tape. Over and over in my head. To this day, seeing yellow police tape makes me sick to my stomach and I will always think of the families waiting behind the police tape awaiting word of their loved ones.

( In actuality, they were sequestered to another place while waiting for bodies -their children's bodies - to be indentified).

We think are solving the problem of gun violence by teaching our school children to hide under desks and practice active shooter drills. They were first graders that were killed. And now the ones taught to hide are our future generation always on high alert for when they might have to face a shooting. What are we doing about it? To protect our children? Not much I am afraid.

Last week I went to a national soccer match. I faced young security guards at the gate with machine guns. They are supposed to keep me safe while I watch a soccer game. I felt frightened just by seeing them.

We need less guns in America . Without infringing on people's rights. I don't feel any safer seeing them. I know many who consider their concealed carry permit like a badge of honor. I grew up in a hunting community although no members in my family hunt. I have lived in a farming community where sick animals are shot or predatory animals are shot and killed. I heard guns being fired for hunting dog field trials in the fields next to our home. I understand the need for them. But I don't understand the excess of them.

I understand the fear of not having the right. I also know the responsibility involved to safely own one. But I don't want one. Some day we may ask - where have all the children gone when we don't do anything to reduce gun violence in this country.